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Now that Tumblr has determined the real world of varied sexuality no longer exists, I've decided to head out in a different direction and prove them wrong. It was fun while it lasted and all things must pass. I am now passing on Tumblr and reigniting the flame that once burned bright here at Blogger. Join me!


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Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Question of Hotness

This is a blog entry I wrote back in 2008 on the TF World site. It's been up for almost 2 years and no one ever bothered to comment. There isn't much traffic there. Or maybe the opinion piece was just to damn realistic. Who knows?

Uh . . . Huh? Am I Hot?


So I was very curious about this "Am I Hot?" category on TF World.

Who thought that one up and who would ask that question? It is up there with someone asking, "Do I look fat in these jeans?"  How could anyone answer such a leading question when the person asking doesn't want to hear the truth? And "Looking Hot" is a matter of opinion anyway.

Here is my rule for that question: If you have to ask, you aren't.
Sure, that sounds incredibly rude, but think about it. If you were actually "Hot" wouldn't you already know. 

Trust me, someone would have told you at some time whether you believed them or not. 

There would be a consensus formed from people admiring you. Strangers at clubs might approach you and tell you how attractive you were/are. Family members and friends would say how good you looked without prompting or having to lie to boost your ego.

Looking good is one of those things people crave. Along with the A words: admiration, acceptance, approval, appreciation, adoration. We all want to fit in and most of us feel that, because of societal norms that tell us that being attractive is a good thing, handsome and sexy mean cool and fitting in. I am here to tell you this is a popular delusion. 

Some of the most shallow individuals I have ever met were beautiful. While others were so "Hot" that mere mortals wouldn't dare approach them for fear of never measuring up and being summarily rejected. Then Mr. Hot was just Mr. Lonely and there is nothing either cool or hot about that proposition.

Besides, it is the ego asking that question and the ego doesn't have your best interests at heart. It just works to make Planet Earth less hospitable by fooling you with impossible standards.
If you truly want to be "Hot", make an effort to love yourself and find your own personal hotness (coolness, the terms are almost interchangeable) inside instead of longing for approval to come from outside. The only way you will ever get complete approval from outside sources is after you have completely approved of yourself first. Sorry, that might take some work, but that is how the art of manifestation works.

So, maybe you are horribly naive and unaware that you are the ideal little stud muffin. All things are possible. But I would be likely to wager on the idea that if you are here on TF World--where the majority of participants have an intense desire to change themselves in interesting and sometimes bizarre ways-- the chances speak in favor of your neither being hot nor believing you are hot. You just are not hot. (But that doesn't mean someone here won't find you attractive and, in their peculiar way, "hot", too. Stranger things have happened.)

And is it so terrible not being the epitome of sizzle? Aren't there many other features you possess wherein you could be approved of more easily and with more genuine truth? I am sure that is so. What if you invested more time in honing those facets than imagining that Mr. Terminally Wonderful will tap his studly wand on you and make you hot by association? Then where might you be? Ahead of fantasy and living reality. And that, in my opinion, is really H-O-T hot.
 
(PS:  I heartily approve of RPs where guys choose to be things they aren't. That is why I signed up. I just won't be asking anyone to "volunteer" praise that has to be solicited initially. And believe me, I won't expect anyone to lie to me in return. I can live quite happily without plastic-coated praise. If I find you hot, I'll be glad to tell you so. Whether or not you feel the same way toward me.)

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